


A Not So Itty Bitty Problem

by Needs_to_stop_looking_at_valves



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Denial of Feelings, Flirting, Other, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:15:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Needs_to_stop_looking_at_valves/pseuds/Needs_to_stop_looking_at_valves
Summary: Airachnid assumed she was safe in her spot in the woods. Little did she know one small, annoying, loud fleshie was soon to be her predator. One right after her very spark.
Relationships: Airachnid/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	A Not So Itty Bitty Problem

**Author's Note:**

> this is for @yagalfromhell on tumblr. I REALLY hope you like it!

Airachnid always found herself as independent, fearless, and cold. She hadn't even toyed with the notion of affection since she was but a sparkling. Hell, the last mech she had SOME interest in, ran away screaming from her. Well, he tried to run away, up until she sank her fangs into his neck and...well, everything was a little hazy after that. Little did she know, things would be changing quite soon, in a way she didn't expect. She flicked the remains of what was left of her last meal, before she suddenly went stiff. Airachnid was a natural predator, but being as small as she was, she was easy prey, hence why she was always on guard. She sensed not one, but three sets of footsteps. From their gait, she could tell they were at least not Cybertronian. She stood up, and went up to a higher branch, looking at the dirt path under her. A few fleshbags, roaming around the path with flashlights. A small group of three. 

“You guys, this was an ACTUALLY stupid idea.”

“Totally.”

“What? No, this is cool! There’s like, those rumors of that one monster, I need to get a pic.”

“For proof?”

“Well I mean, I wanna make a meme of it, but yeah sure proof.”

“We’re lost, we might fucking die, and you’re worried about memes?”

“I would die for memes, dude.”

“Bitch, what about us?”

Airachnid tuned out the rest of the chatter, finding their words useless, and loud. She could very well eat fleshies, it’d be stored fairly easily in her fuel reserves, but she didn't feel like plucking out all those bones (YOU try taking out all two hundred and thirteen bones, it’s VERY annoying). Though, she didn't want them roaming around further, chattering, and overall making her uncomfortable in her own space. She chose these woods for seclusion, not so she could have visitors. Time for some fun. She leapt swiftly from this tree to the next, before stopping right behind the group. Her steps were silent, unlike them. It’d be so easy to slaughter them, tear them to ribbons. But runners were just as fun as screamers. One human piped up again, the more vocal of the bunch.

“You think if something WERE here, it’d come out by now.”

“Maybe SOMEONE is being too loud.”

“Ooh, right. So shut the fuck up.”

“You loud, tiny little things.”

She cut the group off, and the effect was immediate. Two of them slowly turned to the sound, before locking their eyes onto hers. She slowly knelt down, before hissing. They ran, screaming their little heads off. Except one, who merely gawked at her. Oh, the deer in the deadlights kind were quite cute. She knelt down to its eye level, grinning audial to audial. Before she could speak however, she was suddenly blinded by a flash, forcing her to rub at her optics. She growled as her sight came back, realizing this pest just snapped a photo of her.

“Oh, you are a PAIN.”

“And you’re GORGEOUS!”

The honest exclamation of the word took her off guard, before she shook her helm. Horny bums on Cybertron have given her such words, this fleshbag clearly was no different. She leaned down, and plucked the fleshling by the collar, lifting her clean off the ground.

“I WAS going to just scare you off, but you’re starting to be a pain in my aft. Any last words?”

“Yeah, I've literally been waiting for this my entire life.”

“Pardon?”

“Well I mean, we’re all dying anyway. Here, I get to at least get killed by an alien. A HOT alien? Like seriously, you’re EVERYTHING?”

“I...don't know what tricks you’re trying to pull with me, fleshie. I will not be swayed by-”

“No no no, please, do some swaying!”

The human grinned, and wiggled out of her grip, plunking onto the ground. Airachnid watched as the human circled her, taking more photos. The sun was setting in the horizon, they were out here deep in the woods, with an alien that could kill them in a hundred different ways. And that was with just her pinky finger. Yet here they were, absolutely enthralled by her presence. Picture after picture, gaze after gaze, absolutely enraptured by her. She was under the assumption this was a mere farce, until the human set the camera down.

“I’m serious. You are stunning. You got these big, crazy eyes? You got those lips like lilacs, you got those sexy ass claws, and don't get me started about the rest of you! Legs for days! Literally! Cool ass spider lady!”

Airachnid halted for a moment. While the words were loud, frivolous, they were also said with such honesty and sincerity, she found herself frozen. Up until she rolled her optics, and traded her duel legs for spider legs. 

“You know what? I’m just going to show you the way out of here. Follow me.”

“I would, but damn you got my legs like jelly, lady.”

“Oh for the love of-”

She groaned, before she plucked the human off her feet, and began walking, holding her all the while. The little mammal gazed upon her with such admiration, such awe, it did something to her poor, shriveled up spark. It was warm, tingly, and she detested its familiarity. She knew the feeling, and promised herself long ago she wouldn't feel it again, yet here she was, right here. For a fleshbag. Thankfully, she wouldn't have to deal with this for very long. She finally put the human down, and pointed ahead, towards the lighted town across the horizon. 

“You see those lights? Follow those, and you’ll be in civilization soon enough.”

“God, you’re stunning, AND you’re nice.”

Airachnid hadn’t recalled the last time she was called that. Nice. Certainly wasn't an opinion shared with bots like Arcee. 

“You really don't quit, do you? All these sugar laced words, for someone that could kill you before you could even blink. You have your own kind, save the treatment for them.”

“Well I mean yeah, ladies EXIST, but they ain't NOTHIN’ compared to you. You’re like, the whole reason for the area fifty one thing.”

“I’m...not following.”

“Ah just some human shit, I’ll tell you about this next time I come over to see you.”

“Next time you...what?”

“Well duh? I’m totally coming back to see you! I’ll bring some snacks. Though I mean, you already got that covered.”

The human flashed her a grin, and shot her finger guns. She didn't know why, but for whatever reason, she chuckled. This seemed to be enough for the human to grin, as if they had just won some victory. Airachnid didn't understand it, didn't understand the little creature. She thought she knew humans; feeble, fleshie. Yet here this one was, annoying, charming, and certainly strange. 

“Just. Get out of here before I eat you.”

“Hey, I could give you the same warning. I mean, you’re already warm, can see it from here.”

She tilted her head, not sure what they meant, before they motioned to their cheeks. She felt her face, and realized; her dumbass was blushing. And badly. She turned around, not wanting the fleshling to see her in such a state.

“Just. Go.”

“Hey, imma be gone, but not for long, gorgeous!”

The voice trailed off, with the footsteps inevitably following. When Airachnid realized her face refused to be cooled, she realized.

She had a not so itty bitty problem. That face, that smile, the hair, even the stupid set of clothes they wore. Airachnid thought SHE was a predator, yet here she was, caught in someone else's web. A stupid, nonsensical web. Primus, she was completely screwed.


End file.
